Hey there! Happy New Year! How many days into the next year is appropriate to still say Happy New Year? I’ll go with 10, so, I’m still good to go.
I’ve written on this topic many times, but, as a refresher, I end each year and begin each new year by spending a little time reflecting and high-level mental planning on what the new year might look like for me. Many years ago, when I was in full-time vocational ministry, I was introduced to the “my three words” (MTW) concept from a friend who learned it from @chrisbrogan who publishes his list on January 1 each year. Here is his 2023 list FWIW.
Anyway, the basic concept is to find 3 words that are your guideposts (Northstars if you prefer) and by which you measure yourself as you say yes to new ideas, new tasks, new “asks” or whatever. Does this fit your 3 words? It’s harder than you think. I’m not militant or legalistic here. This exercise for me is less about discipline in measuring my 3 words and more high-level as to over-arching big-rock goals of how I want to change, or focus, or think, or whatever each year.
Last Year in 2022 – I focused on “break inertia” and “recovery” through the year. It went okay. Recovery I feel like I did well. I took the time I needed. I found some new boundaries. I reinforced others. Recovery has a certain “stigma” to it I realize, especially in American culture, but for me I was trying to find a new normal for myself. I still have work to do here. I have work to do personally, and in my marriage, and my home life. But I did “recover” a bit and as I made choices, I was able to focus on how that helped me in “recovery” along the way. One very specific story I’ll share related to this is finding a new Ministry opportunity at my local church. Life has been a little messy there for us in the last few years. I’ve been hurt. I’ve been avoiding certain areas in my Ministry life. I was presented an opportunity to get “back” into Ministry as a volunteer leading a Small Group with Jenny. It was not an easy “yes” for us. But we jumped in last fall and have started a new Small Group and have met some new friends and are seeing those relationships form. It’s been “recovery” in part for me as I’ve had to re-form a few ideas of what Small Group could be for us as a couple and as a family. We’ve only been formed for a few months but I’m SUPER happy with it so far! This ties well into “Break Inertia” because I’ve had to “start” a few things related to Church, volunteering, leading, etc. I didn’t do as well with this one in 2022. I did start a few things I was putting off, but, overall, inaction or passivity is where I’ve landed the last few years. No excuses. Just reality.
Let’s jump into 2023. My Three Words this year are linger, declutter, and reboot. I’ve been ruminating on these for about 2 weeks and just landed on “reboot” in our Small Group this past Monday night. More on that in minute.
Linger
Admit it. You just sang “linger” in the amazing voice of Cranberries lead singer Dolores O’Riordan (RIP) didn’t you? They are one of my favorite bands and I have tremendous regret for not ever seeing them live in concert. But that’s not the linger I’m talking about here.
I’m always in a hurry. I’m like a little ant – running from place to place. You know the phrase “stop and smell the roses along the way?” – that’s not me. I don’t even see the roses. This year my desire is to slow down and find ways to just – be. Just dawdle, loiter, stay – you know – linger. This is something I’ve NEVER tried to do. I’ve always been a “busy boy” moving to and fro – often without any real plan or intentionality. Just last week we drove to my dad’s house, and I was in a hurry to get there. Let’s just go. Jenny totally called me out on that. Now. I feel – I know – I’ve missed out on a lot of great conversations, laughter, experiences, and probably friendships because I don’t take time to linger. And I want to do better this year.
Declutter
I wouldn’t say I have a lot of excess stuff. I know many people who do. I do make messes from time to time. I do pile things up on flat surfaces from time to time. But similar to above, that’s not the declutter I’m talking about here.
In this one, I’m talking about decluttering my mind and my “rule of life” to borrow a phrase from my Pastor Tyler. I’m increasingly more aware of how much noise is around me. TV. Radio. Kids. Screens. Social Media. News. Daily beeps and boops. But, more than just the noise, I’m having a hard time find the right signal to help guide me. And I’ve let it happen. I am not overly hard on myself here. I’m just more aware. And I want to do something about it. Part of what has encouraged me to focus on “declutter” this year has been two unique experiences last year in 2022. The first – I started a new habit of either 1) totally uninstalling work apps from my phone or 2) moving work apps to a different folder and disabling notifications for them when I take vacation. Crazy, huh? But for real, I like to work. I like to remain connected. I like to make a difference. But it’s an addiction. So, last year, each time I took vacation, I fully disconnected. And it was amazing. It decluttered my mind. Taking it another full level – last year I took a full 3 weeks off with my family on our amazing trip to Europe. Three. Full. Weeks. Totally unplugged. No apps. No notifications. Just time with my family. It decluttered my mind and allowed me to be present. I want to do more this year. I don’t know what that means yet, but it’s top of mind for me.
Reboot
Right. Reboot. This is an interesting word. It’s not secret I’m a computer geek. I work at Microsoft! And when you think about reboot you probably don’t relish the thought of installing updates, or losing all of your open tabs in your browser (you know who you are). You might even be thinking about the dreaded “blue screen of death” as your computer freezes. Right. Even the most basic definitions of “reboot” are computer related.
But, in 2023, when I think of “reboot” – it’s more personal. What needs to completely change, or completely refresh this year? In me? In my marriage? In my family? I mentioned just a few paragraphs above that I didn’t fully land on this word until this Monday during our Small Group. Each of the families in our Small Group – in some way – are going through a reboot. New Church. New Jobs. New Family Focuses. New Ministry Opportunities. New Relationships & Rhythms. It’s both exciting and terrifying to reboot. We briefly discussed Monday how we’re aware of this “reboot” and for me in 2023, I am looking for the radical change. I don’t know what it is. It may not even fully manifest itself in 2023. But, it “feels” like I’m aware of a pending reboot. So, I’m hopeful that through some mindful lingering and mindful decluttering that I can be more open and attuned to whatever the “reboot” is ahead of me. This isn’t the typical/cyclical “antsy-ness” I’ve experienced in my life where I’m grasping around. That’s not what I’m feeling or experiencing. It’s different. And I cannot fully explain it, but “reboot” is the best word I have right now to draw awareness to it.
So, that’s that. 2023. Linger. Declutter. Reboot. What about you? Do you spend time in thoughtful reflection? Do you spend time considering what the New Year might bring? Please share below what it might look like in your own world.