Welcome back friends! I started this blog 12-13 years ago at the nagging advice of my friends. I kept up with it pretty good the first six or seven years but then life got busy. The last few years I’ve been traveling quite a bit, changed jobs a few times, and frankly have been trying to figure out who I am. For the record, I’m Daryl but you can call me DW 🙂
Many years ago I spent time with a few close friends in mutual leadership development & mentoring conversations. One of the insights from that time is that men particularly don’t gain their identity until they are well into their 30s. Me? I’m 45 and I’m only recently starting to embrace who I am. Several years ago I had the opportunity to share a little of my faith journey with my local Church. If you have 5 minutes and are interested, give it a watch and come back. Since that time, much has happened in my own spiritual and emotional journey. In some ways I am stronger than before, but in other ways, I’m very broken and am hopeful for increased healing in 2021.
To assist with that, I am going to publish “My Three Words” for this year. This is a method I learned years ago from @chrisbrogan (he just published his list for this year) and I’ve used for over a decade to help me focus a new year as I plan for growth personally, professionally, emotionally, financially, physically, and spiritually. Here are some previous versions:
- 2010: Read Share Play
- 2011: Mastery, Replication, Inheritance
- 2012: Discipline, Invest, Act
- 2017: Focus, Alignment, Cost
I haven’t always published my list especially the last few years when I’ve kept them private. But, in a renewed effort of transparency, here’s to My Three Words 2021: Stretchy, Resonance, Launch.
Stretchy
I am not the most limber person. Physically for sure. Except for a very brief winning period in 2017/2018, I have no memory of being able to touch my toes. I often feel like a stiff old man. But, stretchy this year isn’t about tendons and ligaments. I am intentionally seeking to stretch outside of my comfort zone(s) this year. My day job at Microsoft is an incubation team – very much a start up. I am equal parts excited and terrified. I’m excited to be doing what I’m “best at” and “made for” every day as it pertains to technology. But, I am not an entrepreneur. I need boundaries – and vision – and “the why” in my day. I told my manager a few weeks ago that I am malleable (which I am) but that this season of unknown and building-from-nothing is very difficult for me. And I’m looking to 2021 to be a very stretchy year for me as I intentionally navigate the unknown with a positive attitude and hope to come out the other side with significant growth in this area.
Resonance
Pop quiz for my nerdy friends – what is resonance? You probably responded with something like “resounding” or “reverb” or some other musical or “physics” type term. Good for you – nice textbook answer. I’ve often described resonance as a room full of three-year-olds – when one child cries, they all cry. But, another way to look at it is from a more introspective viewpoint. When others are sad, am I sad? When they are angry, am I angry? Do I induce frustration, or pain, or anger, of confusion, or bitterness in others? Am I resonant? Am I responding to emotional resonance? This is different from empathy or sympathy. I am specifically speaking towards attitudes and actions that you (or I) may not even be aware of. I’m a loud yelling parent. My kids are loud and yell. That’s a direct consequence of a resonant effect. This year I am looking to intentionally harness more positive resonance in my personal and family life.
Launch
3…2…1…blast off! Sorta. I’m quickly realizing my time with all four kids at home, and my daily influence on them, is waning. My oldest kiddo is a Junior in High School and over the next few months we will be intensely focusing on what college is going to look like for him. Will he stay home? Will he move out? Will he move far away? Have I been the parent he needs to be a successful adult? Have I done the right things? Beyond him, I have another kiddo who is looking squarely at High School next year. What? Already? Just behind him are another kiddo in middle school and my youngest who is – before you know it – headed to middle school herself. It’s all happening so fast! We also are starting to get involved in a new Church and that’s a stressful and emotional time for our family – especially our kids – as they launch into a new ministry and new small groups and new circles of friendship and influence. My third kiddo specifically needs his own set of middle school friends, but he’s looking forward to launching into service of his own and he wants to invest in younger kids at Church. My daughter desperately is wanting to launch into a new school-aged program with new friends although she’s a bit apprehensive because she’s new. My wife and I are looking to get off the sidelines and launch into our own next-season of ministry. 2021 is going to be a launch heavy year. And like stretchy above, I’m both excited and terrified.
So, there you are: stretchy, resonance, and launch. That’s how I’m focusing for 2021. What about you? How are you focusing this new year?